Sometimes I Golf, Sometimes I Goof

‘Sometimes I Golf …’ by Striatic

The Lord Of The Links

My old-gold friend Dr Tony Oposa sent me today, Monday, 29 January, an email that I opened only a while ago, some golf jokes which his friend Serafin Hilvano had sent him. Dr Tony plays a mean golf at the Manila Polo Club greens, even at his age, 82 going on 83; he even teaches golf there. You should look at his equipment. Anyway, I liked one of the jokes and I got inspiration, so I emailed him back:

‘The only time my prayers are answered is on the golf course’ – Billy Graham. That means you don’t only pray – you have to play!

If you don’t know Billy Graham, Southern Baptist, he is one of the world’s greatest evangelist, even if I, a Roman Catholic, say so myself. He led many a phenomenally successful evangelistic crusade. From Wikipedia I gather:

His mission in Los Angeles (1949) went on for 8 weeks when it was scheduled for only 3; his mission in London lasted 12 weeks; his New York City mission (1957) ran nightly for 16 weeks. In Australia in 1959, his preaching was considered ‘the most effective preaching of the gospel in Australian history’ and led to the growth of Protestantism, with many home Bible study groups formed lasting for 35 years or more.

Of special note is that, Wikipedia says,’ Graham has always been careful to receive reasonable compensation far below what other television evangelists would later receive.’ Noting that, may I say I believe if you can resist the temptation of more money, you can resist most anything. You may pray to win, but you have to play right.

On the infallibility of the Bible, Billy Graham said: I believe the Bible is the inspired, authoritative word of God but I don’t use the word ‘inerrant’ because it’s become a brittle, divisive word’ (26 April 1982). That I think is the position of the Catholics, who do not believe in the Protestant dogma of Sola Scriptura (Scriptures Alone) but instead believe in the authority of the Bible along with the teaching authority of Holy Tradition along with the teaching authority of the Holy Pope. 3 equals 1.

But to return to golf: I feel I must tell you I don’t play golf – even if I could afford it (I can’t) – because I’m not athletic – but I watch Tiger Woods and read his doings and undoings, his adventures and misadventures, his triumphs and his trials. This living legend of golf teaches not golfing with his playing at the top of the charts, any charts – rather, he teaches living, and more than that, living for the highest. As I shall show you, Tiger Woods prays and plays.

On last Sunday’s Tiger Woods’ win at the Buick Invitational, here are my excerpts. First, from John Maginnes (29 January,

History will not show that he won by will as by skill. History doesn’t capture intangibles.

The greatest athletes in all sports were more than champions, they were revolutionaries. Arnie (Palmer) and his army brought golf to the mainstream with his swashbuckling good looks and fortunate timing. Jack (Nicklaus) was simply the greatest of all time.

It has happened in other sports, as well. Babe Ruth revolutionized the game of baseball with the home run. Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain invented the modern center position in basketball.

The interesting thing about Tiger is that no athlete in history, including Michael Jordan, has had greater exposure than Tiger. With technology at our fingertips, we can stay in closer contact with heroes like Tiger. It is in those images that we can truly see the heart of a champion.

Tiger Woods is revolutionizing golf with his greatness.

Not to mention sportswriting. Just like you’re reading now.

More. From Role Models On The Web (2006,

Tiger says that his religion (his mother’s, Buddhism) has given him self-awareness. He says his religion has taught him that he is here to work on flaws in his personality. The two things he has worked on most has been stubbornness and impatience – he used to want things to be perfect right away. Now he understands that he has to work on things in his life and that this takes time and discipline.

You have to work on your praying and your playing.

It was Tiger’s dad who saw him through almost every phase of his golf development. His dad used to sit by Tiger’s bed at night and give him confidence, telling him how good he was going to be at life and at golf. But his dad never pushed him. Tiger did what he did because he wanted to. The other big influence in his life was his mother. For years she used to get up early in the morning and drive him to tournament sites all around the state of California. She used to keep score and never complain about how much time it all took. He says they were both very important in the development of his golf.

AM says (Men of the Week: Sports, 2007,

He’s the most exciting thing to happen to golf since well, since golf was born! He’s young, without a doubt the best player in the world and he’s got his whole career ahead of him. (He’s 31, born 30 December 1975).

Tiger Woods changed things. Like it or not, he turned the world of golf on its head. He brought new fans to the game, substantially increased the game’s audience and popularity, which led to an increase in TV ratings and tournament purses.

Win some, lose some. You golf, you goof. The life of Tiger Woods is proof that when you are in the golf course, certainly God answers what you pray for when you play for it. That is to say, if you are a golfer, praying is not enough – only playing will do. And you will learn to play well only if you work well on yourself.

More. Tim Sullivan says (29 January,

Tiger Woods is Superman with a short game. He is to golf what Lemuel Gulliver was to Lilliput, a giant loose on a miniature landscape. He is as good as it gets, as great as there’s ever been, the athlete of the age, the Lord of the Links.

‘With the amount of people, the amount of cameras, the amount of advice he goes through more than every player out there,’ Charles Howell III said yesterday afternoon at Torrey Pines, ‘you could arguably say it’s not even a level playing field, that he’s got it a little bit tougher.’

Fresh from his seventh straight triumph on the PGA Tour – a two-shot victory over Howell in the Buick Invitational – Woods makes a strange target for sympathy. But the fact is that what this dude is doing is so much harder than he’s made it look that it may be beyond our poor power to add, detract or appreciate.

Were all contestants created equal, the probability of the same player winning the seven tournaments of Woods’ streak (5 with 156-player fields, 1 with 78, 1 with 62) would be 1 out of 446,796,007,796,736. That’s slightly less than 1 in 447 trillion, slightly more than the odds against Michelle Wie winning the Masters (and a calculation confirmed by Bill Scheffel of 1st Pacific Bank of California).

Clearly, all contestants are not created equal. Only a few can match Woods’ length off the tee. Only a handful can approach his handiwork around the greens. Maybe one player in a generation can rival Woods’ range of shots, his acute competitiveness, his grace under pressure and his inexhaustible incentive.

From Bob Molinaro (29 January,

Teeing off: It’s early, but I think I’ve figured out that the three most compelling figures in golf this year will be Tiger Woods, his wife and their fetus.

AP has filed this story (29 January,

They crisscross the globe, dominating on almost every continent, one whacking a small, white ball better than anyone in the world, the other a fuzzy green one.

Tiger Woods and Roger Federer are making history in their respective sports, owning golf and tennis the way very few ever have. Over the weekend, they wrote new chapters in their march toward sports history.

No 1 in golf, Woods won his 7th straight PGA Tour event on Sunday in San Diego, a record eclipsed only by Byron Nelson back in the 1940s when the competition wasn’t as tough.

No 1 in tennis, Federer won the Australian Open a half a world away, marking his 10th grand slam victory and furthering his quest to become the best tennis player ever.

Their excellence has united them over the years. They have become friends, and neither lets his own accomplishment go unnoticed by the other.

‘He’ll text me and say he won one there,’ Woods said in an interview Sunday on ESPN. ‘Now, I’ve got to text him and say we’re all even.’

It’s a friendly rivalry between two men who never have to play each other – the 31-year old golf star and a 25-year-old counterpart on the tennis circuit. They are athletes who dominate in individual, sometimes lonely sports – men who recognize the commitment and sacrifice that must be made, even if the games they play may seem foreign to the other.

Boyce Adams has this to say (29 January,

Tiger Woods roared from 2 shots back on Sunday to win the Buick Invitational in San Diego, California, beating Charles Howell III by 2 strokes. His surge was an impressive display of power, touch and consummate skill under pressure. In other words, it was typical Tiger Woods.

And let’s see William K Wolfrum (29 January, play a game with three names:

On a weekend that saw both Tiger Woods and Roger Federer continue to dominate in their chosen fields, the sporting world has come to realize that we are in the middle of watching two all-time greats at the peak of their powers.

But while many complain that Federer hasn’t received the media attention that Woods has, there are others who are equally dominant in their fields who receive little attention from the mainstream media. Take San Francisco dominatrix Mistress Morgana for example.

Tiger Woods: Mental strength that we can only dream about. Great putter and shot maker, plus an amazing imagination.
Roger Federer: Great from the baseline. A brutal serve. Can hit all the shots, and is exceptionally athletic. Great imagination.
Mistress Morgana: Great sado-masochist skills. Versatile: can beat women and men. An amazing imagination.

Tiger Woods: 55 career victories on the PGA Tour to go with 12 majors and 8 Player Of The Year awards.
Roger Federer: 46 career victories to go with 10 Grand Slam wins.
Mistress Morgana: Has left thousands utterly defeated.

Tiger Woods: Foundation helps disadvantaged kids and their families.
Roger Federer: Foundation helps underprivileged kids, mainly in South Africa.
Mistress Morgana: Just give her your money and shut up, bitch.

While it’s tough to choose who is the most dominant, one thing has become abundantly clear: In an era where Woods, Federer and Morgana are still performing at the top of their games, we are all winners.

For details, Lea Goldman & Kiri Blakeley (editors) tell us he just opened a $25 million Tiger Woods Learning Center in Anaheim, California, featuring a state-of-the-art educational center and golf practice area for children (The Celebrity 100, 15 December 2006, Tiger Woods has a big heart for his game, and a big heart for the little ones, especially the underprivileged. You should be so privileged!

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Explore posts in the same categories: Billy Graham, Byron Nelson, golf, golf jokes, golfing greats, heart of a champion, Mistress Morgana, Roger Federer, Scriptures Alone, Serafin Hilvano, Sola Scriptura, Southern Baptist, Tiger Woods, Tony Oposa

5 Comments on “Sometimes I Golf, Sometimes I Goof”

  1. david de padua Says:

    Just a small point: Tony Oposa might play across the street at manila golf club rather than at manila polo club which does not have “golf greens”, only a driving range…….

  2. Sometimes I goof.

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  4. Sometimes I golf, sometimes I goof! That’s a power shot. Point driven.

  5. Idetrorce Says:

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

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